I thought it would be wise to update...

So i will. I have not kept up with this blogger since May. Lots have gone on since then. Clarissa's 3rd Birthday is in just 1 more day!! I can't believe she will be 3 years old.. it seems like this year has really been flying by. Julia will be 5 in November, hard to believe i know. I think most people on my blogger i talk to through email anyway but if not here is your updates lol
I started my clinicals this month (September) that is going really well, and the instructor is SUPER nice! In August i had a mole removed off of my arm that came back with severe pre-cancerous cells (very scary) so i had a larger margin of skin removed around it which came back clear thank goodness!! I am waiting for the results from a different mole i had taken off from my back too on Monday... so right now i have 9 stitches in the center of my back yuck! The kids are huge now.. Julia just started her 2nd year of headstart and Clarissa will be starting school by October hopefully. Would you believe that Clarissa is FULLY potty trained?? I AM SO STOKED LOL Julia to potty train was a bit of work so she ended up fully trained by 3.5 years old and Clarissa was fully trained before her 3rd Birthday.. granted she has her accidents but not too bad.
I am so tired going to Saturday clincals classes. I go from 8am-1pm and i am typically not a morning person at least not until i get a job again and am used to waking up early like i was at JCPenney. Clarissa's birthday will just be a family thing.. i honestly don't have the time and patience to plan a big party not to mention probably half of the people i invite won't show so why bother ya know? I got her a bunch of learning book & ABC flash cards stuff like that.. daddy also got her a new bike with training wheels and a barbie helmet that comes with elbow pads.. she has been taking to it pretty well since she got an early gift. Monday i pick up her birthday cake from Walmart we did an adorable Tinkerbell cake. Miss Julia is sick with a temp of 101 and vomiting she has been sleeping and lying on the couch all day poor kid... so i am going to go and see how babygirl is doing. Here is a few recent pics anyway.

Ya know you missed me!!

It's been 3 months since i posted i know!! Things have been really really hectic and it seems the more i try to catch up the more i get behind. I haven't even been keeping up with my AOL emails which is unusual for me. Between the accident where my car rolled over off the highway in April, losing my aunt in April to cancer, and getting the Shingles, i guess i had my mind elsewhere. Spring has been a great start we have been getting lots of park/outside time with the girls. We've also started walking this trail at the park which is a mile long but lot's of fun!! I was pregnant only to lose my precious baby on 5/4/09 i will never get over it, but im coping i guess you can say?? School is okay really boring but i am almost done!! I start my hands on clinicals in September and in March i should be done and by May i should get to graduate i cannot wait!! I can't believe it's already been a year since i've been in school. Well over a year now. I'm going to bed with my darlin' nephew whom im babysitting until Tuesday he is 9 months old and the cutest lil' boy ever!!! Enjoy a few pics. Ciao.

I almost forgot

About my blogger. I know terrible lol. It's been almost a month... Things have been busy over here with school and the girls and we've so busy shopping for a new furniture set which is being delivered March 3rd cannot wait!! and i pretty much finished shopping for the girls spring/summer clothes... ALL EXPENSIVE GYMBOREE MIND YOU lol Anyways this term in school is almost over and i cannot wait for one of the classes to end but the other one is actually interesting it is introduction to philosophy. Michael had all of this week off of work his 1 week PAID vacation! It was good to have him home with us.. and his uncle was here for like 4 days he just left this morning. I have class tomorrow night Blahhh! but i think that is about it... i also found out my thyroid is normal and has been since september so im super happy about that MAYBE JUST MAYBE i finally reached the right dosage.. im on 112 mcg of synthroid and my tsh was 2.67 i believe in september and the lab ranges use .5>5 for normal and a few days ago my tsh was at 2.02 which is awesome!! usually i am in the 6-7 range! Oh yeah and i lost 2lbs!! i know not much but i knew it was going to be hard as hell with my thyroid problem so my metabolism is screwed up. But at least i lost something.. here is some of the girls new outfits super cute!!

What we have been up to!

Things have been so busy here with all of us being sick and all... i started back up to school too! ahh fun stuff.. so i've been thinking and i decided finally that i am sick of being BIG! I want to lose alot of weight but even 20lbs at this point would be nice. Starting tonight NO more excuses. I am ridding of all the junk food and i am going to be eating healthier and exercising at least 1 hour a day. I am trying to find a good deal for a gym membership so i can work out there and get a personal trainer to stay on my ass LOL while the kids were napping tonight i went into onDemand on my Comcast and found a bob harper cardio video to watch. I tried a good 15 minutes of it until my heart was racing and i was sweating.. i did pretty good for my 1st time all though i can not quite get onto all fours yet haha someday though. I am burning up now and i can still feel the workout from my back and legs.. i guess it really did make a difference the 15 minutes i did it. i hope to be able to do this every day until i can work out an extra 5 minutes every day or two. I'm tired of being tired i want to be more active for me, my health, and my kids. Starting today there is going to be a new ME! i want to also get into shape to have another baby someday when i can be more active and be able to chase after 3 lil ones. Well everyone wish me luck i need it!

Do you ever wonder?

What it would be like having 2 children and raising them single? I do! Me & Michael are not doing well at all. At this point i still love him but i am not so sure this marriage is worth saving anymore. We just got into 2009 and already things are not looking up for us.. and here i thought this would be OUR NEW START! What a joke that was huh? He just doesn't understand me nor will he ever accept who i am and the lifestyle i am used to. I guess i feel like i will never be what he wants in life and i just have a hard time staying around and being put down everyday for things i am not doing. At this point Michael treats me more like a father than a husband he refuses to let me live for me and my kids and always needs to point out to me how life really is and how i should be behaving.. he seems to think i don't understand how life is because i do not think like him & he is soooo wrong. I've been through a lot of crap in my life i want this year to be a good year for me and my children. I don't want to be unhappy anymore and always wondering when he will snap next or what he is thinking about me. I guess i kinda deserved this for rushing into a marriage we were both obviously not ready for and take into account that we are two completely different people from different cultures and born in different countries and what does that equal -DISASTER- to put it rather point blank me and him have been having too many disagreements, i understand most married couples do but we clash way to much. Today he admitted to me that he doesn't want to be with a "STAY AT HOME MOMMY" he acts as if i don't do anything watching and tending to my children all night while he is at work.. he also said he is "NOT HAPPY WITH MY ANYMORE" key words right there that i needed to know to make a decision based on the best interest of me and my kids. He will never understand me nor will he ever change and it is just something that i have to accept and move on. I've given this marriage so many tries and i just don't know what to do or think anymore. If truth be told i am scared like crazy to go back to being a single mom. I am scared i am going to fail as a single mom and most of all i am scared of being alone.. im scared of who i will be without him and who i won't be without him.. i am scared of being without him because he is still in my heart and i will always love him that's not just because we have a child together. It really blows when it comes down to this.. i do however understand why! Like i said we are just too different. Anyways i am just yapping so i am going to get my kiddos to bed and relax because he will be home in an hour in once again i'm avoiding confrontation and argument. Goodnight.