New Years 2009

We are getting closer and closer to a new year and "new start" as most people would put it. I've been through alot this past year and i hope this coming year will be a change for the better. In January 2008 i was dx with hypothyroidism (Thyroid disease) and between all of that marriage problems, friendship problems, and even financial problems.. and losing someone close to me and my family. On the good side in January 2008 i also started college.. so this January 2009 makes a year that i have been working towards new goals and a new education to better the job market for my family. I also have other plans for the new year that hopefully work out. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by.. my babies are growing up. Julia turned 4 years old in November and Clarissa turned 2 in September. Sometime in February 2009 Michael will be getting his vacation time we originally planned on taking a trip to Canada but as of right now it's not looking likely since we still don't have passports. So it looks like we will go up the Maine coast which is fine by me. Christmas was great the kids got lots of nice things and the day just went perfectly. I finally got a new digital camera.. i was using my moms for a couple months because i did have a polaroid 7mp pink camera until it decided to break.. and i was using a 5mp kodak easyshare and now i have a 9.2mp pink kodak easyshare. I'm so excited i LOVE this camera. Tomorrow i have lots of food shopping to do that is going to be fun and i'm thinking of cooking a roast tomorrow but we will see. Well if i don't get to update before New Years, Happy New Year everyone.. it's time for me to put my sick bebe's to bed.

Christmas EVE!

I love this picture. My hubby and my Clarissa

She is so excited that Santa is coming tomorrow.
I hope everyone is enjoying there's! I finally got my last gift finished and wrapped tonight. Talk about waiting until last minute lol. Julia just got home from her dad's around 6pm. Tonight is gonna be an easy night because hubby will be home earlier from work and Santa already wrapped all the presents and put them away until the little girls go to bed =) Julia got lots of gifts from daddy, and grandma, auntie, and grandpa.. she came home with a new disney princess sheet, pillow, and comforter set. We also got a bag of stuff for me, michael, and clarissa.. which was nice of them. Julia also got a digital camera, doodle-pro, a huge stuffed animal, socks, and more stuff all from them but they were left with them since she still has a TON to open from meme, papa, uncle, santa/mommy hehe. I'm so excited to see the looks on their faces tomorrow. We are waiting to open gifts until tomorrow afternoon around noon time.. we are going to do breakfast here tomorrow morning & then bringing all the gifts to meme&papa's to open them all together. Julia also got the Neverending Story II and barbie and the Pauper. Well time to give my babies a bath and bed so Santa can come tomorrow. Here is a few of my favorite pictures i snapped tonight.

Christmas Season!

We did such a good job!
fun time in the snow

She loves it

Now i really feel like it is.. especially after the 10+inches of snow we got last night and some more today and more snow coming tomorrow. Looks like we will get our white Christmas afterall. This is one of the reasons i LOVE LOVE LOVE the Northeast. This time 2 years ago we were in Southern, Florida and Christmas was just NOT the same being in the tropics with palm trees and green grass lol. I always told everyone we should have just decorated a palm tree especially with the 70 degree weather. Meanwhile, it's like 17 degrees here haha. Tonight my parents are spending the night again.. they will probably be going home tomorrow.. at least i hope i love them but i get sick of entertaining after a while. We ordered in some pizza tonight and we decorated our gingerbread house.. the kids had alot of fun of course Clarissa just kept eating the candy before she could stick it on the house. The kids also got some outside snow playtime, they had a blast. I always feel happy when they are happy. I love Christmas but it's such a busy holiday in a way i can't wait for it to be over only because everyone and everywhere is crazy the time of season. I am still NOT done Christmas shopping.. i didn't get out very much today with the snow storm and traffic.. so looks like tomorrow or Monday i will try to get some shopping done. I still have a bit to do. I still cannot believe Christmas is only 5 days away!! Well almost 4 now. I'm thinking of getting Julia the leaptag system or the leapster 2 and i don't know which to get because my parents are getting her the one for the television.. ahh decisions. Anyways here is some pictures of our day/evening enjoy!

Christmas already?

Time has just flown by!! I cannot believe that in 10 more days Christmas will be here. I love this time of the season except the crazy mobbed stores and the spending of tons of money!! I love the festivities however.. putting up lights & the tree, Christmas specials on TV, Christmas music. Right now it's 10:54 pm and my children are still awake i guess that is what you get when you take afternoon naps. I've been quite busy with life in general and i've managed to get SOME Christmas shopping done. I still have to pick up a new dvd player for the kids, a couple of toys, and some bath things. I got them both a pj set julia got a baby blue dora and clarissa got ariel it's red.. and the sets come with slippers. I am thinking of getting Julia the leaptag reading system in pink if i can find it and getting clarissa the yo gabba gabba dvd set! The kids will be so happy.. i still have to shop for hubby and my mom and my brother and my nephew.. i already finished shopping for my father. I'm scared to go into the stores again they have been a MAD HOUSE! This was Clarissa yesterday btw.. she took a nap in her room then woke up came in the livingroom and i looked at her because she was so quiet and this is how i find her lol

Life lately..

First of all our Thanksgiving was pretty wonderful besides the fact that Julia wasn't there. We had lots of food Turkey, Stuffing, Gravey, Butternut Squash, Mashed potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Bisquits, Corn, and TONS of pies. We were at my mothers and had a great day. Michael joined us around noon time and my dad got home around 1pm with my brothers and their kids because they went to a football game.

Anyways i don't feel like typing everything else going on now so Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone.

BIRTHDAY GIRL!

Well i have posted in over a week. Lots of things have been going on. I started my zoloft 3 days ago.. i think it's starting to work some. Julia turned 4 today!! Born 11/18/04 at 8:30pm and she was 8lbs 15oz and 20" long. So much for her being a baby =( She had such a good birthday she had a small thing with just me, michael, and sister and also a party with her dad and his family. More information and pictures to come tomorrow.. because i am just so tired today with being up since 7am and going to class tonight =) HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY MY PRINCESS JULIA!

My BABY is going to be 4!

In just 11 short days my baby is going to be 4! I have already started getting her a few things for her birthday. I got her the barbie swan lake movie, beauty and the beast platinum edition, tinkerbell dvd, and thumbelina. She already opened her barbie movie tonight. Tonight for supper we had something super easy and super quick pb&jelly sanwiches on wheat bread with cantaloupe and some yogurt.. kids love things like that. Tomorrow i am probably going to do porkchops with potatoe salad and veggies. Right now Julia is sitting right next to me as i type this and Clarissa is still eating. We are gonna do a tubby in a little while and then bedtime for the kids and cleaning time for me.

I have no clue yet what is going on this weekend. The budget isn't looking good. So maybe to the park we'll go. That's what we did today food shopping and then the park. Kids always love the park. I've been thinking alot about Christmas coming up and how tight money is going to be. I think we'll just be doing stockings, like a big thing each, and several smaller things. Julia has everything under the sun.. she has tons of clothes, coats, shoes, so many toys they don't even play with same with Clarissa. I just picked up Julia 2 more pairs of jeans at the childrens place the other day and Clarissa we just went shopping for yesterday at old navy so the girls are good they just need winter boots and Clarissa needs hats/gloves. But other than that i have no idea what else to get 2 lil ones that already have everything i can imagine lol. I can get them anything that takes up to much room as we don't have much storage any ideas? haha

In the spirit of AMERICA

The country is pleased to announce our new president Barack Obama. I am proud of myself this year i believe in the ability to build America back up to where it once was. Which is why i got my butt out to vote and made people know what my beliefs were and why, i convinced people to vote even if it was for McCain. I made my views known that is something that i can boast about. God, i love being an American. Some may think this election was a given or a handout and some may believe that it was a mistake to put Barack Obama into office. Whether you are Republican or Democrat both candidates fought for 2 years through campaigns to talk to the American people and make their capabilities and concerns known. Many Americans voiced their opinions at these rallys whether it was on the Republican side or Democraic side. What we all must remember is we all have ONE thing in common and that is our love for America. With that said, i believe in a better tomorrow, i believe in change, i believe in America getting back to where it once was when making a living was a little easier. Every American deserves a new beginning and this is that time.

I do not for one moment think Obama will do bad for this country. Now im not going to say everything is going to be perfect because it won't there will always be concerns or issues or even crisis's that he may be not able to solve at that time. But you better believe he will do everything in his power to make sure Americans can live a happy and financially stable life & that our children to not have to grow up in the time of depression and instability in the country right now. I believe our ancestors fought for us and now we have to fight for our future.. (children or even grandchildren) Many have made some valid points but history is in the making. We need CHANGE and that is why Barack Obama was elected president of the United States. He believes in change and yes he believes in helping the middle class families that just cant not make it during these hard times. Many things are considered when voting for im sure just about everyone we all have our concerns with every candidate noone is perfect and if someone is perfect i myself would be scared. I believe this country has come a long way since the civil wars and all and still has a long way to go. But i do believe with Obama in office that things will start to get better and not worse. Many Americans want their troops home, people want to be able to live again. Not work to live paycheck to paycheck,. which is what many American's are now doing because they cannot afford the economy the way it is. I have always had hope for America even through 9/11 and i will continue to have hope for America. Regardless of our racial, financial, or religious differences we are all brought together as American's to elect our new president that will be leading our way through the country in the coming years. That change has come and it has come now. This is our moment in history.

Our national anthem

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.O say, does that star-spangled banner yet waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly sworeThat the havoc of war and the battle's confusionA home and a country should leave us no more?Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.No refuge could save the hireling and slaveFrom the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,Between their lov'd homes and the war's desolation;Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued landPraise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

The good & not so good!

Tonight was a blast. Me, Clarissa, and Michael brought Clarissa trick-or-treating since he is working tomorrow night. We got a good bit of candy at least for one child we did. We stayed out about 90 minutes or so which was all we could tolerate. Not only did we drive 1 hour each way for trick-or-treating but adding the 30 degree temp in the mix was not fun. Needless to say i think we will all get sick in the next few days.. not that we didn't dress warm it was just too cold and add the wind chill and it was horrible. We did have a good time though and had a lot of walking we did. Clarissa was so cute at some houses at first she wouldn't even get out of the stroller and then she started to warm up to the idea. So about the 6-7th house she actually got out of the stroller and walked up to the houses and picked out her candy.. to bad my daughter doesn't know what take ONE means lol but it's all good she is just a kid and im sure the people giving out candy understood that.

A few houses did scare her because they had huge witches and stuff sitting on chairs i wish i could have gotten some pics it was priceless but unfortunately i didn't and i'll get to that next. Julia is going trick-or-treating tomorrow with Craig's family. And i know they will take lots of good pics for me to see and i know Julia will have a blast!

As far as the "NOT SO GOOD" ehh before we left the house today i grabbed my digital camera to take pics.. well i turned it on and all i got was a white screen with some black lines through it. So my camera is BROKEN.. after only 8 months. I called the manufacturer and it IS covered under warranty because it is not a mistake i made but probably a camera error. But he looked up the serial number and the camera was mfg over a year ago even though i bought it 8 months ago. So there is NOTHIN they can do for me without a receipt. Well i didn't save a receipt from 8 months ago. So im going to find another way around returning it or i'm just going to shop ebay for a better deal but a different camera for sure. BLAHH whatever i was pretty dissapointed that i couldn't take pics tonight nice timing huh? But anyways i came home and found out if i take pics even though i can't see the pics im taking or them on the screen at all they still work when uploaded to the computer lol gay huh? But im going to bed it's been along night. Happy Halloween!

The kids fun-filled day!

My little Ladybug

My little Cinderella

The kids had an absolute blast today. This morning they had their flu shots *the worse of the day* and then their pediatrician had a little halloween things for the kids.. well i should say the office. The office was dark and decorated and basically at every corner one of the employees was dressed as something different and handed out different things such as candy, balloons, and pencils and so on. The kids LOVED IT. Unfortunately, i forgot my camera. After we left there we went and picked up some produce and fruit and a farm not to far from here. Then we left and the kids went to see and feed the goats but dumb me did forget the camera.

I did get some pictures of the kids where we came home though. I picked up a chicken pot pie at the farm so we are having that for dinner. I hope the kids like it. Julia just went into the refridgerator and helped herself to a yogurt wonderful learning already to go in the fridge and in the silverware draw to get what she wants oh boy am i in for some trouble.

I should add that i am starting a new term at school on Tuesday. I am going to be taking medical ethics and law (which i heard that class is awesome) and im going to be taking medical coding and billing i heard that one wasn't so hot. I just got done my medical terminology class and my information processing class. It looks like with my medical terminology class i will pass with a B or so and my information processing class i will pass with an A- which is awesome!! Only thing that sucks about a new term is meeting new people all over again but luckily i know some of the people that will be in both classes as they were with me last term lol.

but anyways here is some pics.

The last few days

Well today has been along stressful day i am just glad it is almost over. Tonight i decided to sit down and watch the scooby doo movie with the kids. They loved it.. Julia sat still most of the movie which was suprising but Clarissa was up & down but i wasn't suprised with that. Tomorrow or Friday i am planning on going shopping for more pants for Julia and some footie PJ's for the kids! I just loved those things the time of year when it starts getting cold outside. At some point too we are still going to the pumpkin patch. It's just a matter of when exactly. Yesterday we brought the kids to the park but unfortunately the camera died after like 4 pictures lol. They had fun though but didn't want to leave but it was pretty chilly outside. Here is a few pictures from the last 2 days.

Halloween Shopping

That is what we did yesterday. I did a search around and i came up with Cinderella for Julia and Clarissa will be a ladybug. Both costumes are adorable!! I got them at Target. Clarissa's costume comes with the wings and a headband thing too!! Julia's is just the dress and a Cinderella bracelet. I just have to get Julia's crown and tights and shoes and Clarissa i have to get tights and shoes for. I hope the weather isn't too cold considering it has been chilly out.

Tomorrow i am planning on making the kids some Halloween cupcakes since they have been begging me for them hehe. And some chocolate chip muffins maybe. My kids cannot wait until Halloween! Here is miss. cinderella and ms. ladybug.

How much can i possibly take?

Well.. i get a call on Monday that Julia's dad is going away on buisness and his parents are also "too busy" to take their grandaughter. Mind you i have her 20 days out of the month.. he has her only 4 days since his parents always have her 4 days. So he picks her up around wed night and drops her back home around sun evening. Well, apparently he is being sent away for buisness so Julia isn't going with him this week. He wants to do next week but if the trick or treating is here next week he can forget it because next week was supposed to be "my weekend" he is such a jerk.

Things have been quite difficult lately, i've been depressed and more tired than ever. My thyroid level is screwed up again and i feel like a zombie. Granted, i do my parenting cleaning, cooking, bathing, the kids, putting them to bed. But i can barely do it because im so tired and well it's just depressing me. Not to mention money is really tight lately. I mean i am not currently working and hubby isn't making a whole lot of money. Our bills seem to be more than what we are making. We are really JUST getting by. I don't think me trying or even thinking about getting pregnant is a good idea right now. I've been thinking about it more and more... and i know my depression will just get worse if i was to have another baby. I'm supposed to have an appointment with a fertility specialist since we have not prevented for 19 months and im still not pregnant.. but i know she won't have anything good to say. Maybe we should just focus on getting things under control financially and emotionally before we think about brining another baby into this world. My world lately feels upside down. I feel like a bad mom because all i want to do is sleep all day. I feel bad that i can't afford to do more things outside the home with my kids.. i feel like they are always cooped up in the house because of me. It's hard to cope and deal with at this point. I'd like to bring them to the farm tomorrow or a pumpkin patch even if it means me spending $5.00 we do not need to spend $100.00 to have a good time and take memorable pictures. Tomorrow i am also doing food shopping and picking up the kids Halloween costumes.. something for them to enjoy also.

Soooo.. im thinkig more and more about candidates for the election this coming month. To be quite honest i don't like either candidates but i'm planning on voting and im leaning more towards Obama/Biden. Point blank is that McCain and his VP i forget her name is Republican obviously and they only care about keeping war in Iraq and making the poor people poorer and the rich people richer. And personally i don't think they have a good enough strategy for the economy being in crisis and people not having health insurance like (me) so that's a definite important topic to me and millions of other americans not even cutting $40,000/year.

But i guess im done speaking for now just figured i'd get my feelings out there. I like my blogs to show the real "us" and not just the good things. It's always good to be able to speak about life and face it head on.

It's been one of those days...

Well me and hubby talked things out and are willing to give things another go. We will see what happens with time. Julia is going back to the drs tomorrow she has had a cough now for 3 weeks! Poor thing. Today me and Michael went out and got Clarissa her toddler bed it's a pink sleigh bed it's adorable. Hubby is going to put it together tomorrow. I found Julia laying down on a pillow today with her friend at school playing it was adorable. When she saw me peeking at her she got up real quick and came and gave me a big hug that is always something to make you tear.

I also got my haircut yesterday. It's rather short but i like it... Hubby likes it too so thats always good. lol My diet has been going really well too woohoo im now down 5lbs!!! Im so happy with that because i accomplished that in 5 days! Just by basically changing my eating habits.

School updates too... my 3rd quiz in my medical terminology class i passed with an 81.5 which is much much better than i would have thought. Our midterm is take home and optional so im going to do it i think just to get my average up. Well im off to play monopoly on pogo and to clean here is julia posing tonight for pics.. she just loves taking pictures lol

Life and Me

Well this is my first blog.. im just trying to figure this thing out so bare with me. My kids are still awake they think they are too good for naps anymore. I just know im gonna go bonkers tonight, especially with 2 overtired children. Julia has been going to school. She is one smart cookie she's been coming home with drawings, and things she made in school and she did such a good job!!! When she came home from daddies this weekend she did some painting and got almost ALL of it within the lines i was amazed!! She is sooo smart i cannot believe she is turning 4 years old in November it's hard to believe because time has just gone by so quickly. Clarissa is my little diva.. she rules the world at 2 years old.. she knows best (So she THINKS) lol she is a smart little girl she is talking in sentences now that is pretty amazing for a 2 year old huh?? I love these little girls so much!!! They are the only think that makes me happy in life right now.

My husband is a jerk, i want him gone.. we've been having problems for years now. I just chose to keep things bottled up until last night i just went off. It's hard being with someone that doesn't love you or treat you with respect. He can say a million times he loves me but it doesn't mean he means it because if he did we'd have a happy marriage for the most part. Sometimes i feel like the only reason he is here is because of his daughter. I kicked him out last night and he came back because it was cold out so i told him to come back in and sleep on the couch and he did. Today he's been trying to apologize all day and beg and plea for my forgiveness and for us to work things out even if that means therapy but we will see what happens with that.. i just don't think i can do it anymore i don't ever believe the sayings that opposites attract because that certainly isn't our case. MY blogs will be very interesting as you can tell. Stay tuned more to come tomorrow... i know this is alot for a first blog but hey that's life right...