What we have been up to!

Things have been so busy here with all of us being sick and all... i started back up to school too! ahh fun stuff.. so i've been thinking and i decided finally that i am sick of being BIG! I want to lose alot of weight but even 20lbs at this point would be nice. Starting tonight NO more excuses. I am ridding of all the junk food and i am going to be eating healthier and exercising at least 1 hour a day. I am trying to find a good deal for a gym membership so i can work out there and get a personal trainer to stay on my ass LOL while the kids were napping tonight i went into onDemand on my Comcast and found a bob harper cardio video to watch. I tried a good 15 minutes of it until my heart was racing and i was sweating.. i did pretty good for my 1st time all though i can not quite get onto all fours yet haha someday though. I am burning up now and i can still feel the workout from my back and legs.. i guess it really did make a difference the 15 minutes i did it. i hope to be able to do this every day until i can work out an extra 5 minutes every day or two. I'm tired of being tired i want to be more active for me, my health, and my kids. Starting today there is going to be a new ME! i want to also get into shape to have another baby someday when i can be more active and be able to chase after 3 lil ones. Well everyone wish me luck i need it!

Do you ever wonder?

What it would be like having 2 children and raising them single? I do! Me & Michael are not doing well at all. At this point i still love him but i am not so sure this marriage is worth saving anymore. We just got into 2009 and already things are not looking up for us.. and here i thought this would be OUR NEW START! What a joke that was huh? He just doesn't understand me nor will he ever accept who i am and the lifestyle i am used to. I guess i feel like i will never be what he wants in life and i just have a hard time staying around and being put down everyday for things i am not doing. At this point Michael treats me more like a father than a husband he refuses to let me live for me and my kids and always needs to point out to me how life really is and how i should be behaving.. he seems to think i don't understand how life is because i do not think like him & he is soooo wrong. I've been through a lot of crap in my life i want this year to be a good year for me and my children. I don't want to be unhappy anymore and always wondering when he will snap next or what he is thinking about me. I guess i kinda deserved this for rushing into a marriage we were both obviously not ready for and take into account that we are two completely different people from different cultures and born in different countries and what does that equal -DISASTER- to put it rather point blank me and him have been having too many disagreements, i understand most married couples do but we clash way to much. Today he admitted to me that he doesn't want to be with a "STAY AT HOME MOMMY" he acts as if i don't do anything watching and tending to my children all night while he is at work.. he also said he is "NOT HAPPY WITH MY ANYMORE" key words right there that i needed to know to make a decision based on the best interest of me and my kids. He will never understand me nor will he ever change and it is just something that i have to accept and move on. I've given this marriage so many tries and i just don't know what to do or think anymore. If truth be told i am scared like crazy to go back to being a single mom. I am scared i am going to fail as a single mom and most of all i am scared of being alone.. im scared of who i will be without him and who i won't be without him.. i am scared of being without him because he is still in my heart and i will always love him that's not just because we have a child together. It really blows when it comes down to this.. i do however understand why! Like i said we are just too different. Anyways i am just yapping so i am going to get my kiddos to bed and relax because he will be home in an hour in once again i'm avoiding confrontation and argument. Goodnight.

New Years 2009

We are getting closer and closer to a new year and "new start" as most people would put it. I've been through alot this past year and i hope this coming year will be a change for the better. In January 2008 i was dx with hypothyroidism (Thyroid disease) and between all of that marriage problems, friendship problems, and even financial problems.. and losing someone close to me and my family. On the good side in January 2008 i also started college.. so this January 2009 makes a year that i have been working towards new goals and a new education to better the job market for my family. I also have other plans for the new year that hopefully work out. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by.. my babies are growing up. Julia turned 4 years old in November and Clarissa turned 2 in September. Sometime in February 2009 Michael will be getting his vacation time we originally planned on taking a trip to Canada but as of right now it's not looking likely since we still don't have passports. So it looks like we will go up the Maine coast which is fine by me. Christmas was great the kids got lots of nice things and the day just went perfectly. I finally got a new digital camera.. i was using my moms for a couple months because i did have a polaroid 7mp pink camera until it decided to break.. and i was using a 5mp kodak easyshare and now i have a 9.2mp pink kodak easyshare. I'm so excited i LOVE this camera. Tomorrow i have lots of food shopping to do that is going to be fun and i'm thinking of cooking a roast tomorrow but we will see. Well if i don't get to update before New Years, Happy New Year everyone.. it's time for me to put my sick bebe's to bed.

Christmas EVE!

I love this picture. My hubby and my Clarissa

She is so excited that Santa is coming tomorrow.
I hope everyone is enjoying there's! I finally got my last gift finished and wrapped tonight. Talk about waiting until last minute lol. Julia just got home from her dad's around 6pm. Tonight is gonna be an easy night because hubby will be home earlier from work and Santa already wrapped all the presents and put them away until the little girls go to bed =) Julia got lots of gifts from daddy, and grandma, auntie, and grandpa.. she came home with a new disney princess sheet, pillow, and comforter set. We also got a bag of stuff for me, michael, and clarissa.. which was nice of them. Julia also got a digital camera, doodle-pro, a huge stuffed animal, socks, and more stuff all from them but they were left with them since she still has a TON to open from meme, papa, uncle, santa/mommy hehe. I'm so excited to see the looks on their faces tomorrow. We are waiting to open gifts until tomorrow afternoon around noon time.. we are going to do breakfast here tomorrow morning & then bringing all the gifts to meme&papa's to open them all together. Julia also got the Neverending Story II and barbie and the Pauper. Well time to give my babies a bath and bed so Santa can come tomorrow. Here is a few of my favorite pictures i snapped tonight.

Christmas Season!

We did such a good job!
fun time in the snow

She loves it

Now i really feel like it is.. especially after the 10+inches of snow we got last night and some more today and more snow coming tomorrow. Looks like we will get our white Christmas afterall. This is one of the reasons i LOVE LOVE LOVE the Northeast. This time 2 years ago we were in Southern, Florida and Christmas was just NOT the same being in the tropics with palm trees and green grass lol. I always told everyone we should have just decorated a palm tree especially with the 70 degree weather. Meanwhile, it's like 17 degrees here haha. Tonight my parents are spending the night again.. they will probably be going home tomorrow.. at least i hope i love them but i get sick of entertaining after a while. We ordered in some pizza tonight and we decorated our gingerbread house.. the kids had alot of fun of course Clarissa just kept eating the candy before she could stick it on the house. The kids also got some outside snow playtime, they had a blast. I always feel happy when they are happy. I love Christmas but it's such a busy holiday in a way i can't wait for it to be over only because everyone and everywhere is crazy the time of season. I am still NOT done Christmas shopping.. i didn't get out very much today with the snow storm and traffic.. so looks like tomorrow or Monday i will try to get some shopping done. I still have a bit to do. I still cannot believe Christmas is only 5 days away!! Well almost 4 now. I'm thinking of getting Julia the leaptag system or the leapster 2 and i don't know which to get because my parents are getting her the one for the television.. ahh decisions. Anyways here is some pictures of our day/evening enjoy!

Christmas already?

Time has just flown by!! I cannot believe that in 10 more days Christmas will be here. I love this time of the season except the crazy mobbed stores and the spending of tons of money!! I love the festivities however.. putting up lights & the tree, Christmas specials on TV, Christmas music. Right now it's 10:54 pm and my children are still awake i guess that is what you get when you take afternoon naps. I've been quite busy with life in general and i've managed to get SOME Christmas shopping done. I still have to pick up a new dvd player for the kids, a couple of toys, and some bath things. I got them both a pj set julia got a baby blue dora and clarissa got ariel it's red.. and the sets come with slippers. I am thinking of getting Julia the leaptag reading system in pink if i can find it and getting clarissa the yo gabba gabba dvd set! The kids will be so happy.. i still have to shop for hubby and my mom and my brother and my nephew.. i already finished shopping for my father. I'm scared to go into the stores again they have been a MAD HOUSE! This was Clarissa yesterday btw.. she took a nap in her room then woke up came in the livingroom and i looked at her because she was so quiet and this is how i find her lol

Life lately..

First of all our Thanksgiving was pretty wonderful besides the fact that Julia wasn't there. We had lots of food Turkey, Stuffing, Gravey, Butternut Squash, Mashed potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Bisquits, Corn, and TONS of pies. We were at my mothers and had a great day. Michael joined us around noon time and my dad got home around 1pm with my brothers and their kids because they went to a football game.

Anyways i don't feel like typing everything else going on now so Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone.